Start Here :)
an introduction
Hi, my name’s Hope. I’m 32, I got divorced last December, I homeschool my five kids in a tiny apartment, and I go on solo adventures when they’re on school breaks with their dad…it’s a pretty weird time in my life right now. But it’s also been really sweet and meaningful, and I think I have some things to share that might be encouraging (or at least interesting) to you.
We share so much in common being humans together. Some of us might be building walls of security around our lives in attempts to avoid suffering, and some of us are signing up for all the mistake-making we can as we figure out what to do with our “one wild and precious life.”1
And some of us—maybe especially those of us whose worlds have shattered recently—might be doing some kind of dance between nihilism and hope.
Nothing matters, so why even try?
But also…what if the problem is I don’t have a big enough imagination for all the good that might come through all this?
It’s a very sloppy dance. Possibly a fistfight.
That’s the human experience, though, and I’m a deeply broken and also intensely happy human who loves to write to other humans. (I really, really like humans.)
65 Connections (and counting)
And that’s where this more recent part of my story has created new opportunities for me to do what I love. Many dreams that I buried long ago have been resurrected this year, and nearly all of them revolve around human connection.
I’m one of those weird extroverts where it simply delights my bones to meet strangers and hear their stories. That was hard to do with children around all day every day, but now—through very non-ideal circumstances—my schedule is…different.
This June, when my kids were with their dad in California for a couple weeks, I decided to buy Amtrak’s USA Rail Pass for $499 and spend two weeks hopping around America from coast to coast. I mostly slept in my seat in coach or stayed with friends or in hostels. My goal was to gather wisdom everywhere I could find it…while looking out the window at my nation’s gorgeous landscape, from DC to Chicago to Seattle to Portland to LA to San Diego to San Francisco to Denver.
And I did it.
In my 146.5 hours on trains, I kept track of how many people I had amazing interactions with during that time, and the list of names came up to 65.
I cried happy tears with a scorpion researcher in San Diego when he talked about how much he loves his wife
I blushed when a seatmate told me about her ex-husband’s genital tattoos
I pitied Amish couples on the train until I talked to them and realized they were genuinely, almost enviably satisfied with their lifestyle
I enjoyed wine, cheese, and philosophical musings with a cosmopolitan older gentleman as our train zoomed through Utah and Colorado
I was humbled by the courage of a seatmate who took a death-defying journey to get to America (and who is working tirelessly to get his family to join him here)
I learned how to make prison apple juice and tattoo ink from a guy who had just been released earlier that day
Wandering cities and talking to strangers all day was one of the most self-actualizing things I’ve ever done.
Telling the Truth
It wasn’t just on that train trip that I fell in love with listening to people’s stories, though. I have something to learn from every single human, and it gives me so much life and joy to connect. I want to use this space to share some of the stories of the things I learn on my adventures.
But please understand, reader: I am wary of objectifying the people I meet or shrinking them down to “characters” that serve as amusement. I also care deeply about trust and anonymity, and I don’t want people I meet to think I’ll Carrie-Bradshaw2 their personal lives. And when I write about my children, I keep in mind the longevity (and creep factor) of the internet.
But when it comes to my own messy actions and perspectives? I don’t see the point in not being honest. For example, I’ve had the thought, “Oh no, what if someone who’s seen me on Bumble leaves a mean comment and calls me some desperate divorcée who’s out here trying to be a philosopher?!”
Well. The truth is yes, I’ve tried dating apps—and yes, I’m attempting to write meaningful things. Honestly, I find both a bit embarrassing, but I’m deeply grateful for those who’ve risked embarrassment and failure to bring something good into the world.
Why I’m Writing and What to Expect
That’s my aim here: I want to share anecdotes and ponderings from my chaotic, happy life in the hopes that my ups and downs might resonate with and benefit you.
The plan is to publish a travel essay on Mondays and a little roundup of beautiful moments, things I like, mini-book-reviews, etc. once a month. They’ll mostly only be accessible to paid subscribers.
Another note is that I love Jesus, and I can’t not talk about how He’s being real to me, but most of my friends are not Christians, so I write with the assumption that most of my readers are wary of being preached at. (If you do want to read more overtly faith-based ponderings, I write occasionally on Hope’s Notes.)
Also, in this space I’m not going to focus on kid stuff, but I wrote a ton of parenting content at Family Scripts if you’re interested in that.
There’s a lot that I’m figuring out, so thanks for bearing with me.
I appreciate you. I don’t take it lightly that you’ve given me some of your attention. I hope we can all grow (and hopefully giggle sometimes) together.
Warmly,
Hope Henchey
an oft-quoted phrase from Mary Oliver’s poem “The Summer Day”
I recently watched a few episodes of Sex and the City for the first time, and I respected Carrie’s investigative journalism, but if I was one of the people she mentioned in her articles, I would be horrified to have my personal stories published like that 😅